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From the Man Chair - Zero Intelligence Policy

Posted: 2010-03-10

  Hence embedded in the divine and righteous Man Chair with a well-aged Arturo Fuente Short Story smoldering I find myself confused. Should this make me angry? Should this make me laugh? Should this make me sad for us as a people?

What the hell am I talking about? Well, this week we learned that a six year old kindergarten kid in Michigan was suspended for pretending his hand was a gun and pointing at another student. What? Yes, a six year old kid was suspended from school, not for dealing drugs, not for torching the locker room, not for calling the principal a cock sucker, and not for porking his math teacher in the broom closet, but for pointing at another student. School officials said they had asked the boy to stop pointing his finger gun at other students several times, but he did not. An investigation by the crack members of the school board subsequently determined that the six year old was not licensed to carry a concealed finger gun having failed a background check. Furthermore, a record of aggressive behavior against his mother for making him eat spinach forbade him from even owning a finger gun.

What the hell is going on here? Suspended? Really? Other kids were uncomfortable? Really? This makes me wonder if the goal here really is to turn boys into pussies instead of men and all kids into PC indoctrinated non-thinking feel-gooders instead of personally responsible, well-educated, thinkers, creators and problem solvers.

Isn't it ironic that the finger formation used to make a big scary imaginary gun to terrorize fellow students is exactly the same finger formation used to make a big ass "L" for loser on one's forehead? Hell, I make that same hand gesture several times a day when I pick my nose! Had the nut jobs that sit on school boards today been around when I was a kid, I never would have graduated. Boys doodled pictures of battles, guns, tanks and fighter planes spitting out bullets all the time. When I was six, my cousin and I used to run around the neighborhood for hours in a make believe WWII game killing nazis with finger gun 1911's and tree branches for rifles and bayonets. We had spring loaded toy guns that fired plastic rods with suction cups on the end and tried like hell to get one to stick to a buddy's face. We played cowboys and Indians...cops and robbers...and guess what, you idiot educators and school administrators? We survived. We learned how to play together, share and solve problems, and we didn't need mommy and daddy or government every time we didn't like something.

Should this little kid have been suspended from school? Absolutely not. Should he have been disciplined if he was asked to stop a certain behavior and did not? Absolutely. Perhaps no recess? Eat lunch with the principal instead of his friends? Stay after school and clean the chalkboards and erasers? Teach him consequence in a way he can understand at six years old. You claim to be educators. You should know this.

And that's the way I see it...from The Man Chair.


Episode #104 - LIVE from the Havana Room @ Chez Rob


Recorded: 2010-03-14
Cigar of the Day: Mystery Cigar

  They say March comes in like a lion and we herfed a lion of a cigar for Blowin' Smoke #104!

With a rainy, dreary day outside, and the Torcedor Coffee flowin' inside, the Havana Room was smoking as the Council of Cretins gathered for a mystery Cigar of the Day. See what they thought about this unknown assailant.

While the Cretins pondered the identity of the Cigar of the Day, we talked about the misguided case for trying to hike cigar taxes again. Aren't we already smoking for the children? Plus, more opinion on the lofty claims of being the best, most expensive cigars. Also, plenty of weird news items with plenty of assistance from our friends on Twitter like what a 6 foot tall 400 lb woman keeps in her bra, government regulation of smells, and doing a little "landscaping" while driving. Talk about distracted driving!

So, join the herf and the conversation. All that and more is right here, right now on Blowin' Smoke #104!

Don't forget to checkout ...the tool box bra link from Derek on Twitter. NSFW Login required!, ...and the visual on the


Episode #105 - LIVE from the Havana Room @ Chez Rob


Recorded: 2010-03-28
Cigar of the Day: Mystery Cigar

  They say March goes out like a lamb and that makes Cretin Kyle very happy, but I digress. It's Blowin' Smoke #105!

The Havana Room was standing room only as we welcomed George Joseph of Penn-Ohio Cigar in Sharon, PA, to the roundtable (with a special announcement) along with Justin AKA @TheTravelingJ, Dirty Uncle Kevin and Moose to take on yet another Mystery Cigar. While we herfed and puffed, we also announced the 2009 Cigar Match Grand Champion. Congratulations to the Rocky Patel 1961 Torpedo! We also drew two names from the votes cast to win a Freako 5-Pack.

We also took a few minutes to pay a small tribute to Mr.Frank Llaneza, an icon in the cigar industry, who passed away on March 18th. In honor of Mr. Llaneza, we have a chance for you to win a Frank Llaneza 1961 Magnum to enjoy in his memory. Listen to find out how you could win.

While Dirty Uncle Kevin pondered his 5 Things duties, we read some listener email, bitched about cigar taxes and scratched our heads, along with our friends on Twitter, about a guy whose girlfriend wanted a three-way with him and her girlfriend and what his answer was, another guy who left a gift in his girlfriend's car...maybe, smokin' up in Colorado, and more!

So, join us, along with Kyle's goat, for another trip down Herf Street right here on Blowin' Smoke #105.

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