The Cretins were just giddy with excitement as Blowin' Smoke #122 welcomed 262 Cigars as our newest sponsor of the Blowin' Smoke Podcast. I think Kyle actually got a little verklempt!
With a brand new Cigar of the Day, the La Flor Dominicana Air Bender Guerrero, a new champion in the Cigar Match, and a fresh supply of goat news, Clint and Matt from 262 Cigars told us all about their company, their cigars - the Paradigm and the Ideology - and how you can help them spread the love and get a little kickback in return. Plus, a chance for you to win some Paradigm & Ideology cigars and swag from 262 Cigars too!
A brand new 5 Things was prepared for you too, and we assigned Cretins Kyle and Kevin to find out what the chicks are talking about to keep you ahead of the estrogen curve.
It's a BIG show! So, grab several fine cigars, a steady supply of beverages and a full can of butane for Blowin' Smoke #122!
Anxiously awaiting the fat man in red velvet, the Cretins gathered once again for Blowin' Smoke #123!
Even though it was cold enough outside to freeze a chocolate cherry beer into a solid chunk of ice, the Cretins feared not and forged ahead with more holiday time herfing. Fruit cake was eaten, coffee was slurped and Flying Pigs were everywhere. It was a good thing we had those butane torches to fend them off. Plus, a steady stream of BS didn't hurt either. It included plenty of Twitter-worthy stuff like Christmas cigars, Christmas movie trivia, using bosoms to get DNA another way, and the mother-in-law who hated nipples.
All that along with a new 5 Things and more about what the chicks are talking about too. Now, that's a Christmas herf feast!
So, grab your ho-ho-ho and a fine cigar for Blowin' Smoke #123! Unless you've been naughty.
Hence embedded in the divine and righteous mobile Man Chair smokin' a Donnie G. Corojo Robusto, I can't help but notice a trend growing among all the other New Years celebrations, happenings and traditions being talked about and advertised. I'd like to throw a flag right here and call personal foul, intentional desecration of the boys, half the distance to the goal, no soup for you.
What is wrong with a guy who would willingly strip down to his skivvies on New Years morning and jump into a frigid body of water? Are you still dumb-ass drunk from the night before? Did your mother breastfeed you a little too long? Not enough fiber in your diet? What!? Please help me understand how you came to the conclusion that submerging your jingle berries in ice water is somehow a good idea.
It's spiritual, El Freako.
So is a good Pabst fart. Give me a break!
It's rejuvenating, der Freakmeister.
How is feeling your knick-knacks suck up into your esophagus faster than LiLo doing a line of booger dust at Charlie Sheen's house rejuvenating? That sounds a wee bit uncomfortable to me.
But, your Freako'ness, don't knock it 'til you've tried it.
Look, I don't need to jump in a goddamn arctic river in my Jockeys to know it's a bad idea. Not only is that the purest form of abuse to the boys (next to falling on the man-bar of an old 10-speed), but the shrinkage factor might make Little Richard disappear forever. I just can't risk it.
Needless to say, my boys and I will not be ringing in 2011 anywhere near a frosty stream, creek, river, lake or lagoon. Instead, I plan on pampering my boys...my way of saying 'thanks' for sticking with me for another year. Perhaps we'll enjoy some champagne New Years Eve. The bubbles make them frisky. On New Years Day, we'll sip coffee, maybe some tea, and watch hockey. I'll scratch their back from time to time...they love that, and maybe let them watch their favorite movies..."Dirty Harry", "Caddyshack", "Animal House" and "Porky's." Perhaps I'll wrap up the day by letting my boys stretch out in a hot shower?
Doesn't that sound more enjoyable than entering your doo-dads in a Ted Williams look-a-like contest? Incidentally, women who like to jump in freezing water I have no issue with...provided they send me pictures.
Happy New Year! Take care of your boys.
...and that's the way I see it From the Man Chair.
The annual post-holiday stress-relieving herf is back! Join us at Allegheny Smokeworks, the home of the Herf n Nog, for an afternoon of good friends, fine cigars, homemade egg nog and a ton of bullshit!
Bring along some food or drinks to share (not required) and some of your own homemade egg nog, if you dare! We'll spend the afternoon eatin', drinkin' and herfin'!
Mike and the gang at Allegheny Smokeworks will have the humidor stuffed, as usual, and some great post-holiday deals too.