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Episode #130 - LIVE from the Havana Room


Recorded: 2011-04-03
Cigar of the Day: Guillermo Leon Belicoso

  With frozen nuts and hoping for some spring-like weather, it's Blowin' Smoke #130!

Indeed the mercury was still hanging low, but the Cretins were ready for some April herfing with tasty cigar snacks and plenty of hot air to keep things toasty inside the Havana Room. A brand new Cigar of the Day was sacrificed and tossed into the Cigar Match ring to do battle with the current champion. See what the Cretins had to say about it. Plus a new 5 Things, listener email and voicemail, and plenty of crazy stories from the internet kept this herf in high gear.

So grab your designer whatchamacallit, a fine cigar, and click play on Blowin' Smoke #130!


Episode #131 - LIVE from the Havana Room


Recorded: 2011-04-17
Cigar of the Day: Kristoff Original Maduro Matador

  Baptizing new Cretins in a cloud of aromatic secondhand cigar smoke - it's Blowin' Smoke #131!

Armed with a new Cigar of the Day and a brand new chick magazine, we set out for another herf adventure. Along the way we checked out listener emails, sampled some homemade beer, engaged our Twitter followers in some unusual news stories for their unique spin, and introduced you to a new member of the Blowin' Smoke Podcast family. Plus a new 5 Things and more insight and analysis into what the chicks read.

So, grab your loins (or a favorite cigar) for Blowin' Smoke #131!

Don't forget to checkout our newest Blowin' Smoke family member, Jess!


Blog'idor - The Vagina Humidors - Part 1: A Culture of Men: Where Does a Woman Fit In?

Posted: 2011-04-21

  First and foremost I'd like to take the opportunity to express my sincere gratitude to Rob for asking me to be a part of the Blowin' Smoke serious cigar shenanigans. I'd also like to convey how much I appreciate those of you who have been supportive of my cigar (and other) mischief by actively engaging me through Twitter and other social media outlets.

So, let's get right to it. Where does a woman fit in? Contrary to what many women may believe, women do have a place in the cigar industry/culture. I oftentimes say "Yeah, I can hang with the 'big boys,'" but what does that actually mean? It simply means that I am able to enjoy the company of men (and women) while simultaneously enjoying a cigar. Yes, it's that simple. Unfortunately, I believe many women have a fear that if they smoke (cigars), men will no longer be attracted to them. As most of you know, this simply isn't the case, yet the stigma remains.

While men are often brash and unapologetically grotesque in the company of other men, there is no doubt that while smoking a cigar in the company of a woman, most men will feel the need to act more refined and choose their words more carefully (I think we all understand that no matter what circumstances exist, some men will always remain brash and unapologetically grotesque). The presence of a woman truly "raises the bar" on the entire cigar smoking experience. On numerous occasions I have discovered myself to be in the company of men while enjoying a cigar at my local B&M. It's quite interesting to observe men around other men (and in my presence), because they'll start to tell a dirty joke and then stop to say "oh no, I can't say that, we have a lady present." Of course my response to this is "come on, I like a dirty joke, let's hear it!"

Fact: women and cigars just pair well. Women often possess excellent sensory abilities, which allow them to pick up on the specific nuances of each cigar. I believe the societal expectation of "women in the kitchen" has allowed women to be around food and drink more, which has in turn allowed us to develop a more discerning and refined palate. On a more personal note, I was initially very hesitant about smoking cigars for various reasons. As a society, we are simply inundated with anti-smoking fear inducing advertisements about the harms of smoking. After conquering this fear, and simply embracing the fact that humans are not immortal, I started enjoying cigars and have developed a passion for them that continues to grow and develop each day.

Triple Dog Dare: I triple dog dare you cigar smoking men out there to find a non-cigar smoking woman to enjoy one cigar. Your bone: A chance to win a 5 pack of cigars from my personal stash (oh la la). How to enter: submit a photograph of the woman smoking a cigar along with her first name, the cigar she smoked, and briefly what she thought about it. One winner will be randomly selected from all valid entries received. Contest ends May 15, 2011 at 11:59 pm. (Editor's note: submit your entries by clicking the camera above, "Fan Pics", and follow instructions to submit. Must include email address.

Double D Dare: I double d dare you cigar smoking women to go to your local B&M and be in the company of men, and accept the fact that every man in that room has at some point thought about engaging in intercourse with you. The sooner you realize and reckon with this, the better your cigar smoking days will be.

I leave you with this: "Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke." Lynda Barry.

Until Next Time,

Jess

# # #


~ Jess is a cigar smoking foodie, violinist, Human Resource professional
Follow Jess: @jessbayne and check out her blog, Cigar Sucker.


From the Man Chair - Kings And Queens And Fools. Oh, My!

Posted: 2011-04-28

  Hence embedded in the divine and righteous Man Chair smoking a Royal Jamaica and sipping some Crown Royal with a Royal Crown Cola thinking all this royal stuff is a royal pain in my ass.

It's everywhere. Infomercials are hocking royal plates, knickknacks and other royally worthless crap. Every major news outlet has sent several crews, producers and big name anchors across the pond to cover this non-event. In doing so, they have now made a royal mistake and made royal asses out of themselves as hundreds of AMERICANS have been killed in strings of severe storms and tornadoes through the southern states. (Pray for these people.) Usually, the networks will send these very same people to disaster locations to get in the way of rescue and clean-up efforts and exploit the victims. Now, however, all their scheduled guests ready to chat about "the royals" are all being pre-empted for coverage of real news about real Americans. Good bloody job!

Personally, the only good thing about this royal wedding is how attractive the bride is and how lucky she is that her royal man looks more like his late mother than his royal buffoon of a father. Beyond that, any amount of "normal" this chick once possessed is fading and soon she will be one of them...the elitist leaches who look down upon their subjects.

The royals produce nothing, yet take everything, demand god-like treatment, and don't seem the least bit embarrassed by it...and the Brits allow it...celebrate it. And the royals are largely powerless. The people continue to support the royals' lifestyle. Huh? I don't get it. Yes, many members of our own governing class are no different, but we can actually vote their asses out. (If only we would more often.) I wouldn't walk across the street to see 99% of our governing elites let alone support a national holiday when one of them gets married. Who gives a royal rat's ass?

The lovely Girl Wonder asked me last night if these folks even wipe their own asses. When you are as disconnected and shielded from the realities of life as an everyday bloke as the royals are, I'm willing to bet that some of them actually have servants to wipe their ass. The royal version of "there's an app for that." What's that? Brushing your teeth is just too tedious? There's a servant for that. Can't be bothered with the TV remote control? There's a servant for that. Foreplay got you down. There's a servant for that.

Maybe all this royal bullshit irritates me so much because I don't think I, or the folks I usually herf with, would tolerate herfing with people like that. I've always said cigars are a great equalizer and I have herfed with people in tax brackets I will only ever dream about, with those who struggle, and many people in between...at the same time. Whatever they have, a little or a lot, they've earned and they respect each other. It doesn't matter in the herf trenches. How can any of these folks relate to a royal who has everything done for them, has everything given to them, yet does nothing to earn any of it? Can you imagine being told at a herf at your local B&M that you must or must not speak to that guy over there a certain way because they are royalty? Imagine me telling them to go f@*# themselves!

Yeah, I get the history thing. But, hey! This is 2011. The Brits have what they want, apparently. And what the Brits want is largely why we're Americans. Your royalty can kiss my ass.

...and that's the way I see it From the Man Chair.

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